Thursday, March 6, 2014

The right way to grieve.

Loss is an inescapable part of life, and grief is a natural part of the healing process. The more obvious reasons for grief are many: the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the onset of a serious illness. However, subtle everyday losses can also cause strong feelings of grief, and often these may go unrecognized: a career change or loss of a job, physical or health issues, a life transition, such as sending your last child to college, the loss of hope or expectation. Whatever the case, grief and loss are no easy tasks for anyone.

Personal grief.
My husband and I are expecting our first child at the beginning of April. We are so excited! Excitement, however, wasn't our only feeling about this pregnancy. I experienced anger and jealousy, shame, and lack of control. Our journey to conceive took a different path than we initially hoped. After more than a year without conceiving, we decided to undergo fertility treatment. I grieved the loss of an ideal process. As a therapist, I often work with individuals, couples, and families overcoming a major loss, but I, too, cannot escape the human-ness of not having things work out the way I had hoped and experiencing the sadness and helplessness that accompanies grief. As difficult as it was experiencing those feelings, it is also difficult admitting that I had those feelings to a virtual audience. Although difficult and as much training I have done to support others through grief and loss, I am not immune.