Life in a rut? Ways to help you feel alive.

Has your life lost its excitement? Do you feel like you are repeating yourself day in and day out? If you are feeling this way, you've begun to notice that your life has become stuck in a pattern that isn't fulfilling. In addition, you've probably said to yourself that you need a change...this blog is devoted to examining those patterns that cause the rut you're experiencing, taking steps towards change, and promoting healthy relationships void of destructive patterns. 

Patterns are natural; they exist everywhere: architecture, clothing, even in our communication. For good or for bad, we cannot escape patterns. Patterns, such as monthly income or spending, can help us better predict and plan for our future. However, living life in a pattern that leaves us unfulfilled can lead to further discouraging feelings, such as, depression, hopelessness, or frustration.

Who wants to live life in a rut? Or who wants to continue patterns, such as the way we communicate with one another, that do not help? In fact, many times couples enter therapy to work on improving communication patterns to help increase intimacy within their relationship. Another instance is when parents find themselves repeating instructions to their child over and over until the words no longer mean anything.

The following list are ways to help alleviate dissatisfying patterns in your life.

Parent Child Relationship Therapy

For more information, go to www.dbpsychotherapy.com.

Honeymoon destinations

Valentine's Day is filled with happy memories; if you are like me, this is a day you will not soon forget. Each year when February 14th rolls along, I drag out photos from 8 years ago when I was asked, "Will you marry me?"

Congratulations on your engagement and for a memorable Valentine's Day! Putting the task of wedding planning aside, let's talk honeymoon destinations! Traditionally it is the groom who plans and pays for the honeymoon, leaving it as a surprise to the bride. However, more and more couples are enjoying the planning and booking together.

As you plan, whether as a couple or not, here are a few things to consider:

What women want on Valentine's Day

Less than a week away, Valentine's Day is getting a lot of attention. The theme of February is relationships...you will hear it on the news, tv ads, online. Are you ready?

I'm a big fan of Valentine's Day and I always have been. As early as elementary school I remember the joys of decorating a paper bag and going around my playmates' desks and tossing in a Valentine's. Looking back, as a kid, I would strategically select certain conversation hearts for that special kid I had a crush on...secretly hoping he would get the message and like me back.

What do women want on Valentine's Day? Well, this is debatable. Some people say women simply want to hear the words, "I love you," while others like shiny jewels or fancy handbags. What I do know is that each of us, male and female, have certain ways we communicate and interpret affection and love.

How to make your marriage work

We know how to make a marriage work. We've been married for 8 years, while it may not hold as much prestige as say 25 years, it is an accomplishment nonetheless. In the 8 years we've been married, we have learned a lot about each other: what works and what doesn't, what makes us distant from each other and what brings us together.

We watched last week's State of the Union Address. Historically, Democrats sit on one side and Republicans sit on another; it's apparent when the sides disagree with one another. What was unique about this last address was that the two parties sat amongst one another; the visual representation was encouraging. At times, marriage may seem like a State of the Union with each partner sitting on opposite sides, but there are ways to bring both sides together.

Tips to make your marriage work:

It's time to celebrate!

As you may know, not only do we provide therapy services, our primary jobs are teaching in higher education. We moved to Charlotte at the beginning of 2009 to take two faculty positions and a clinic director position in the marriage and family therapy (MFT) program at Pfeiffer University, Charlotte. One of the draws for us was that the MFT program was working on becoming COAMFTE Accredited.

(left to right) Drs. Bitar, Drew, Wong, and Wilkie-McHale

It's official! The program that we have worked so hard for has earned the COAMFTE Accreditation! Pfeiffer University has sent out a press release congratulating our program for achieving such a high honor and status. Our MFT program is 1 out of only 3 in North Carolina and 1 out of 110 in the entire United States. As you can tell, we are pretty proud of being part of this grand achievement!

Ways to combat your fear of change

Who likes change? Trust me, I'm not a huge fan. I am perfectly content once I get into a groove and I am happy for things to roll along...

Life is one of those things where change is inevitable. In all the discomfort that one experiences because of change, I am still grateful for the opportunity to change. There are many moments in our life when we need change. For instance, after evaluating our business and our vision we recognized that as our business needs have evolved so must our business. I was hesitant about this change and I'm still experiencing some discomfort, but at the end of the day I know we are moving in the right direction.

How about you? Where do you need to make changes in your life or relationships? We hope the following 5 tips to combat your fear of change are helpful as you take another step towards to where you want to be.