Patterns are natural; they exist everywhere: architecture, clothing, even in our communication. For good or for bad, we cannot escape patterns. Patterns, such as monthly income or spending, can help us better predict and plan for our future. However, living life in a pattern that leaves us unfulfilled can lead to further discouraging feelings, such as, depression, hopelessness, or frustration.
Who wants to live life in a rut? Or who wants to continue patterns, such as the way we communicate with one another, that do not help? In fact, many times couples enter therapy to work on improving communication patterns to help increase intimacy within their relationship. Another instance is when parents find themselves repeating instructions to their child over and over until the words no longer mean anything.
The following list are ways to help alleviate dissatisfying patterns in your life.
Ways to get out of a rut and feel more alive:
- Evaluate what kind of pattern you are in. What are the advantages and disadvantages?
- Note how your life patterns are making you feel. Really, how does it make you feel? "I feel good" and "I feel bad" does not cut it. Does it make you feel frustrated? Hopeless? Comfortable? Secure?
- Examine where that pattern may come from. Families have more influence on our lives than we may like to admit or even have noticed. Many people grow up to say, "I don't want to do that like my parents," however, in the end, some of the behaviors are quite similar. By examining where your patterns come from, you can plan for a better and new course of action.
- Imagine how you would like things to be different. If there are disadvantages to your pattern, how would you like to experience life differently?
- Do one thing different today. Start with a small change and over time those small changes will lead to a big change. If you take all of it on at once, you may become overwhelmed and discouraged. Start small.
