Suicide: Tips for parents with grieving tweens

Suicide. The word alone is frightening. It's frightening because it signifies the loss of a person, the loss of relationships, and leaves heartache, confusion, and disbelief in return. According to the Center for Disease Control, suicide was in the top 10 causes of death in the United States in 2010.

I have two middle-schoolers and one elementary-aged child who keep me very active. Each night when we get home from school, I ask them what they learned and what happened. Last night the normal answers, "...so-and-so did this or that" was replaced by, "...there was a student who committed suicide today." Immediately a lump grew in my throat and my eyes became teary. Few words will send chills down the spine or send tears to the eyes of a parent like hearing that your child's classmate has committed suicide. My heart ached for the classmate, for the parents and family, and for our community.

With recent suicides in two area schools, you might find yourself wondering how to explain something like this to your tween, teen, or "young adult."

The kids are gone, now what?

In the last post, I wrote about the transition of sending your children away to college. Today's post is a follow up with a focus on the parents who are left behind. Many people joke about the relief of having the house all to themselves once children are gone and while that may be the case, the house can be awfully quiet and lonely at the same time. No longer is the hustle and bustle flowing in and out of your house, rather, it's time to establish a new pace.

This time can be especially difficult on parents, this is what we call the Empty Nest Syndrome. The Empty Nest Syndrome is characterized by feelings of loneliness and depression when your children leave home. Transitions and changes are difficult and it's a time to redefine your role. Your identity as super mom or super dad can move more to the side and energy towards other relationships can be the focus of your attention.