Engaged, well, PREPARE!

Each time I turn on the news lately, there is another announcement of some famous couple's engagement. The most recent was a very royal announcement of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Others hit the headlines earlier this week including Jessica Simpson to former NFL player Eric Johnson and Nick Lachey with Vanessa Minnillo.

The question is, will these couples invest in premarital therapy? Statistics for first time marriages that end in divorce are 45-50%. The percentage increases to 60-67% of second time marriages and even greater for a third time marriage at 70-73%. When the likelihood of divorce is so great, especially for second and third time marriages, the need for relationship planning and enhancement is even more crucial. Why wouldn't you engage in premarital therapy when the decision to marry is such an important, life altering one?

Does your child need therapy?

Is your child having behavioral problems? Is your child struggling with his or her self-esteem? Are you interesting in helping your child adjust to a life transition, such as divorce or loss?

Children have feelings too. As much as we believe children are resilient to life's problems, they still need support and a way to deal with emotions. An effective method to help children adjust to life circumstance or trauma is play therapy.

Play therapy is a form of therapeutic therapy specifically designed to help children work through hurt to achieve healing.

AAMFT Approved Supervisor Status

Time to celebrate! After years and years of hard work, we have finally received the official news that we are officially AAMFT Approved Supervisors. We have just the place on our office walls to display the frames!

We would like to thank Dr. Richard Wampler at Michigan State University, Dr. Don Arterburn from Waco, Texas, and Dr. James Pruett from the Integrative Pastoral Psychotherapy Program of CMC, for providing our supervison of supervision for us. They provided great mentoring moments and challenged us in ways that allowed us to grow.

Don't let stress get to you

“Life’s simple pleasures…” Where have they gone? Life becomes complex due to busyness. At some point, you have probably thought, “If only there were more hours in the day...” or “I am so busy, I don’t have any time.” The culture we are growing up in seems to value productivity in the form of doing and earning, rather than valuing time. 

What happens when we become consumed with work and other activities that distract us from rest and relaxation? For starters, we become overworked, stressed, and fatigued. The longer a person experiences great amounts of stress, the greater the likelihood that may lead to impaired judgment, health problems (e.g., depression, anxiety, physical illness), burnout, reduced quality of performance, and overall decrease in productivity. Japan refers to this phenomenon as karoshi. Karoshi means death from overwork, pushing your body past the point of recuperation and the physiological system collapses.

When was the last time you did a self-check?

I don't know about you, but my list of "to dos" is never blank. It seems like there is always some errand to run, some item to maintain, or something to keep up. One of the ideas behind the "to dos" is to make life or our things run more smoothly.

We learn early on to get the oil changed for our car every 3,000 miles, we get our teeth cleaned every 6 months, women should have an annual checkup and physical with an OBGYN, men should have annual physicals, and we schedule routine haircuts every 6-8 weeks. Doing all these things ensure that our things work properly, we stay healthy, and it's good to take preventative measures. In the long run, regular maintenance helps reduce the chances of headaches and frustration down the road. However, what about mental or emotional check-ups for yourself? Or what about maintenance sessions for your relationships?

Time to dress up

With only 3 days to go, bags of candy are flying off the shelves, costumes are being put together, and people are eagerly awaiting the next best party of the year. This time of year is fun for the young and old alike. Like no other holiday, Halloween provides us the thrill of tapping into our inner diva, superhero, or mystic and going out on the town as that persona.

Some of my greatest memories of Halloween involved dressing up as a gypsy with my gold coin jewelry clinking together every time I moved with a scarf wrapped around my head or the time I was Jeannie from "I dream of Jeannie" and whenever I pretended to grant a wish I just nodded my head and my pony tail came flying. Granted, I was an Asian version of Jeannie, but Jeannie nonetheless. From the time I was a little girl, playing dress up has provided an outlet for make believe and creativity to come alive.

Debunking therapy myths

Have you been thinking about getting into therapy? It's an anxiety producing process to think about going to someone and talking about whatever is bothering you. In addition, a strong stigma exists in our society about getting help. Well, in an effort to start normalizing the therapy process, I thought I'd address some common myths of therapy.