Guide to making a New Year's Resolution

Each year it's the same thing...coming up with and sticking to a New Year's Resolution. It is never too early to plan ahead. In fact, you have a greater chance of being committed to your resolution if it is well planned rather than a spur-of-the-moment decision.

The joke (and reality) is very few of us follow through with our resolutions. Side note, I did stick with one since 1999 and I haven't had a soda since! Yay for me! But after that, every other resolution went by the wayside...until now...

Saving money, making a memory

During the holidays, there is pressure to spend money and to buy the "perfect gift." For many today, spending even a few extra dollars is difficult. We'd like to ease the financial burden this holiday season by sharing with you the top 5 creative ideas to make a wonderful holiday memory without spending any money!

Our list is a way to return the focus of buying and gift giving to the experience of making a memory. I forgot what I purchased last year for my family and I struggle to remember what I received. However, I distinctly remember the fun games my family played together last year. It's the experience that made a wonderful memory, not a toy or an item.

Top 5 ways to manage holiday stress

It's the most wonderful time of the year! The weather is beginning to get chilly, the leaves have fallen off the trees, and the holiday spirit is in the air. If you are not careful, you may fall victim to stress, fatigue, and feelings of being overwhelmed.

As a way for me to stay cheery this time of year, we've collected the top 5 ways to manage stress during the holidays:

Dr. Drew made the News

Dr. Drew was interviewed earlier today by Becky Bereiter, News 14 Carolina, about the importance of the relationship between parents and children.

"It's important for parents to have a good relationship with their child or adolescent; it makes having conversations [about any topic] much easier when a strong relationship is already established." -Dr. Drew 

Click here to view the news clip.

Engaged, well, PREPARE!

Each time I turn on the news lately, there is another announcement of some famous couple's engagement. The most recent was a very royal announcement of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Others hit the headlines earlier this week including Jessica Simpson to former NFL player Eric Johnson and Nick Lachey with Vanessa Minnillo.

The question is, will these couples invest in premarital therapy? Statistics for first time marriages that end in divorce are 45-50%. The percentage increases to 60-67% of second time marriages and even greater for a third time marriage at 70-73%. When the likelihood of divorce is so great, especially for second and third time marriages, the need for relationship planning and enhancement is even more crucial. Why wouldn't you engage in premarital therapy when the decision to marry is such an important, life altering one?

Does your child need therapy?

Is your child having behavioral problems? Is your child struggling with his or her self-esteem? Are you interesting in helping your child adjust to a life transition, such as divorce or loss?

Children have feelings too. As much as we believe children are resilient to life's problems, they still need support and a way to deal with emotions. An effective method to help children adjust to life circumstance or trauma is play therapy.

Play therapy is a form of therapeutic therapy specifically designed to help children work through hurt to achieve healing.

AAMFT Approved Supervisor Status

Time to celebrate! After years and years of hard work, we have finally received the official news that we are officially AAMFT Approved Supervisors. We have just the place on our office walls to display the frames!

We would like to thank Dr. Richard Wampler at Michigan State University, Dr. Don Arterburn from Waco, Texas, and Dr. James Pruett from the Integrative Pastoral Psychotherapy Program of CMC, for providing our supervison of supervision for us. They provided great mentoring moments and challenged us in ways that allowed us to grow.

Don't let stress get to you

“Life’s simple pleasures…” Where have they gone? Life becomes complex due to busyness. At some point, you have probably thought, “If only there were more hours in the day...” or “I am so busy, I don’t have any time.” The culture we are growing up in seems to value productivity in the form of doing and earning, rather than valuing time. 

What happens when we become consumed with work and other activities that distract us from rest and relaxation? For starters, we become overworked, stressed, and fatigued. The longer a person experiences great amounts of stress, the greater the likelihood that may lead to impaired judgment, health problems (e.g., depression, anxiety, physical illness), burnout, reduced quality of performance, and overall decrease in productivity. Japan refers to this phenomenon as karoshi. Karoshi means death from overwork, pushing your body past the point of recuperation and the physiological system collapses.

When was the last time you did a self-check?

I don't know about you, but my list of "to dos" is never blank. It seems like there is always some errand to run, some item to maintain, or something to keep up. One of the ideas behind the "to dos" is to make life or our things run more smoothly.

We learn early on to get the oil changed for our car every 3,000 miles, we get our teeth cleaned every 6 months, women should have an annual checkup and physical with an OBGYN, men should have annual physicals, and we schedule routine haircuts every 6-8 weeks. Doing all these things ensure that our things work properly, we stay healthy, and it's good to take preventative measures. In the long run, regular maintenance helps reduce the chances of headaches and frustration down the road. However, what about mental or emotional check-ups for yourself? Or what about maintenance sessions for your relationships?

Time to dress up

With only 3 days to go, bags of candy are flying off the shelves, costumes are being put together, and people are eagerly awaiting the next best party of the year. This time of year is fun for the young and old alike. Like no other holiday, Halloween provides us the thrill of tapping into our inner diva, superhero, or mystic and going out on the town as that persona.

Some of my greatest memories of Halloween involved dressing up as a gypsy with my gold coin jewelry clinking together every time I moved with a scarf wrapped around my head or the time I was Jeannie from "I dream of Jeannie" and whenever I pretended to grant a wish I just nodded my head and my pony tail came flying. Granted, I was an Asian version of Jeannie, but Jeannie nonetheless. From the time I was a little girl, playing dress up has provided an outlet for make believe and creativity to come alive.

Debunking therapy myths

Have you been thinking about getting into therapy? It's an anxiety producing process to think about going to someone and talking about whatever is bothering you. In addition, a strong stigma exists in our society about getting help. Well, in an effort to start normalizing the therapy process, I thought I'd address some common myths of therapy.

Daily Chaos

Daily chaos will never cease, rather than struggling against it, find your own rhythm. -10 Thoughts on Whole Living section of Whole Living Magazine, July/August 2010.

It's funny reading that. Right now I have a few different and big projects in the works. Each week I find my stress level increasing and my energy level depleting more quickly. Sound familiar? In my head I know that I cannot continue working this hard or taking this much on, but something inside me keeps pushing forward...I mean, what is the alternative?!

Money and stress

Finances are a major concern to individuals, couples, and families. Especially in our present state, unemployment is at an all time high, everyone is focused on ways to create jobs, and most everyone is changing spending habits. Even in a healthy economy, the issue of finances can make us feel pressure, stress, and anxiety.

Way of looking at your life

Every now and then I find an article that makes me pause. Today was one of those mornings when an article caught my eye. "Life isn’t a project to be completed; it is an unknowable landscape to be explored," wrote David Brooks, the Op-Ed Columnist for the New York Times. 


Click here to read the article or click on the link below. 


http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/03/opinion/03brooks.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=the%20summoned%20self&st=cse


How do you view your life?

Define Success. Then redefine it.

How do you define success? At first glance, the question looks simple enough; however, once you start pondering it, the answer begins to lose its clarity. Success has different meanings for different people.

I hear many people say that they would like to be successful in life. In fact, I say, "I want to be successful in life." There aren't many who would not want to be successful in or at something. Right?

On the 6 o'clock news!

Dr. Drew talks about the benefits of premarital counseling!

Check it out: Click here to watch the news clip.

Or cut and paste this link into your browser: http://charlotte.news14.com/content/local_news/triangle/627133/gaston-co--sends-proposal-to-ga-for-waiting-period-before-marriage

The cost of raising a child

I was watching Nightly News with Brian Williams last night and he reported that the cost of raising a child born in 2009 until 17 years of age is $222,360 for a middle-income family. Whoa, that's a lot of cash!!

I posted this statistic on a social networking site and instantly it formed a lengthy discussion between myself and many of my friends. There were various opinions varying from "...it's a lot more..." to "...no way." Well, which one is accurate? To get a better understanding, I found the online story.

It seems that no matter how you cut it, children are expensive to raise.

Perspective

When was the last time that you took a step back and looked at your life from a different perspective?

For me, it was today. As I was emailing a very good friend of mine, I realized something about myself that should have already been part of my awareness, but wasn't.

For the past month or so I have been working non-stop; whether it was for work or family, there was something that kept me engaged and busy. This past weekend I felt subtle signs of guilt for sleeping in. Even this morning as I was driving to the office, I felt guilt for not wanting to be productive or motivated.

Therapy increases happiness

Does money increase happiness? Various research sources support that money does increase happiness and other research sources say slightly different. You make the call.

In the latest AAMFT newsletter, an article was sent out that states that research found that therapy is 32 times more cost effective at increasing happiness than money. Wow, really?! Then why aren't we all in therapy instead of waiting for the next windfall?

Years in the making

Drum roll, please! We are pleased to announce Integrity Family Therapy, PLLC to the Charlotte scene. Let me introduce ourselves...I am Dr. Faith Drew and my partner and spouse is Dr. George W. Bitar. We are marriage and family therapists. Starting a private practice (on-the-side) has been a dream of ours for many years. Throughout the years we've talked about how we would start it, what we want it to look like, and why we want to do it. Well, the time has come to jump in and follow our dream!